Hi, I’m Cathy Hinsley, and I understand the complexities of this journey because I’ve travelled it myself. My personal experience with addiction has fuelled my unwavering commitment to helping others overcome similar challenges.
I was a fun, functioning, daily drinker for decades.
A ‘grey area’ drinker. A bottle of wine a day was me being good! I built up a good career in People Focused Senior Management, I was a single parent and managed the home/work/life/child balance as best I could. With a lot of wine in ‘support’!
Over the years there were periods of excessive heavy drinking brought on by divorce, loss, relocation, redundancy, depression, anxiety, work and single parent stress. I always suffered with feelings of not being good enough and spent years exploring every self help book there was to try and battle with my inner critic and find ways to learn to cope and try to understand myself better. There was just one key component in the self development story I was missing, or unwilling to consider.
On October 16th 2022 this all changed.
Compared to other situations I had found myself in in the past this was by no means the worst, far from it, but for some reason that Sunday created the perfect storm which led to me making the best decision of my life. Never to drink again. Ever.
My demise had been slow but noticeable. I was forgetting conversations I’d had with my son, meaningful moments I wanted to remember with my teenage boy. I was blacking out regularly, forgetting whole chunks of evenings spent with family or friends. I managed my life around alcohol although the subtlety of addiction meant I wasn’t even aware I was doing so, I was conscious of a slightly reddened face, buying green creams to try and counter the ‘tap room tan’, and on that Sunday I turned up to my son’s first ever rugby home game drunk. I proceeded to pass out when I got home (or take an afternoon nap as I liked to call it) and later that evening couldn’t even remember that my boy had come home afterwards to pick up his things to take to his Dad’s. I was a mess.
That evening the self-loathing reached its peak – and believe me I had spent years not liking myself very much so this was really bad.
I was wracked with guilt and shame and could do nothing to turn the clock back, nothing to put right what I had done wrong, nothing to change what had gone. The only way I could see to make any sort of amends for 30 years of behaviours that did not befit the person I so desperately wanted to be was to vow never to drink again. And that’s what I did.
I threw myself into the world of sobriety with both feet. Devouring every book I could lay my hands on, listening to podcasts, reading about alcohol, addiction and sobriety at every opportunity. I downloaded a Get Sober app and whilst the early weeks and months were challenging I made a choice, daily, not to drink. As every ‘first’ went by – birthdays, Christmas, social events, holidays, even managing the loss of a close and dear family member – and I remained sober my building blocks got stronger, my life got better and I took back control.
The last 2 years have been truly transformative.
The hardest part was finding out who I am. Who was I without the drink? How was I to cope with happy times, sad times, celebrating, commiserating, getting home from work, a weekend, without wine? What did I really think about things, how did I escape the myriad of voices in my head and the noise, cope with my emotions, sit with myself?
I am thrilled to say, through the work I have done, and the work I can help you with, I have developed the most wonderful self-love, ability to not only cope but to thrive, an energetic passion for life, and an ability to be truly present. Always. I trust and love myself wholeheartedly. You can do this too.
Find your light - you ARE worth it!
Related Posts
